Friday, March 25, 2011

Blonde Moments

This is how the dictionary defines a blonde moment:

a brief mental lapse, as of judgment or memory
an instance of acting dumb or scatterbrained; momentary forgetfulness or ditziness

I am blonde, and I have these.

A few examples:

Example 1 is a clip from a previous blog post:

We went to an indoor play place about a half-mile from the mall. It was a great way to kill a few hours and get the energy out. The funniest thing happened...Aaron found this little friend and I was making small talk with the mom...I asked her how old her little boy was. She said, "Oh, she's 3." Whoops. Honest mistake. Neutral colors, hair could go either way, no bows...how was I supposed to know? So a little while later, Aaron was getting a little too aggressive and pushed her...the words that came out of my mouth in front of her mom were, "Aaron, did you just hit him?" OK, embarassing. I mumbled a quick apology to the mom and made Aaron apologize for the push. It wasn't going well. Fast forward about 15 minutes...still making small talk...the mom is really nice and we're having a great conversation. I look over at the kids playing and say, "He has the cutest hair!" Then I said in a loud, frustrated voice, "SHE, I'm sorry!!!" Thankfully I got it right after that, but MAN!! Not one of my better playdates!

Example 2 is famous in the Wadley (my maiden name) family folklore:

I am 12 years old. My family is back in the States from a long hiatus in Germany and England and we all decide to go get some frozen yogurt. It's a nice day so we sit outside to eat. I'm thirsty. Mom tells me to go inside and ask the counter man if there's a drinking fountain, so I do. He tells me it's around the back, so out I go. After fiddling with it and not being able to get it to spue forth the water that I am now desperately in need of, I go back and tell mom, who has Uncle John go help me. I take him around back, he takes a look at it, tries not to laugh, and turns right around to go back to mom, where he proceeds to tell her I was trying to turn on a gas meter. :)

Example 3 happened a couple of weeks ago:

We took the kids bowling. Kaylee had free coupons for getting good grades in school. We set up the computer screen so we could start and noticed as they started bowling the screen wasn't working, so I went to tell the guy at the counter. He fixed it and off we went. About 4 frames away from the end, the screen popped up a scrolling message that read, "PREPAID LIMIT EXPIRED", or something like that. This is how I saw it: "PREP AID LIMIT EXPIRED". After getting frustrated with not being able to understand it, I asked Shawn what in the heck "PREP AID" was. :) (I still say there was a bigger space between those two letters than the rest...)

Example 4 happened a few days ago:

Aaron, Rebekah and I are at the mall kids play area. There is a nice older lady there with her two grandkids...one looks about 4 and the other 2. She is pointing out how the floor carpet area is a map of the Corpus Christi Bay and surrounding areas, something I had just noticed that morning. Anyway, I was walking back and forth bouncing Rebekah, and as I was coming back towards her and her granddaughter she looked at me while saying, "What does that say?" She was pointing to the floor where it said "Corpus Christi". So after about half a second where I was wondering if she was blind, I said, "Corpus Christi". She looked at me and said, "She can read it," meaning her granddaughter. DUH! She was asking her granddaughter to help her practice her reading. Like I needed to practice my reading!!!! After mumbling something about thinking she was asking me, I sheepishly walked to my seat and hid my red face in Rebekah's hair.

So you see my friends, there are such things as "blonde moments", and as an often embarrassed blonde, I just have to say that looking back on these moments I find them hilarious and hope you do too. What is life without laughter? Glad I could provide some. :)

4 comments:

Jen Gillespie said...

Oh DA!!!!! This makes me miss you even more than I already did! You are such a hephesh. Now, the problem is, I have "blonde moments" all the time and have no genetic excuse. The kids in junior high used to tease me that I dyed my hair. We all have them! Just be grateful you have an excuse!

Willy Happy Mama said...

I like to call them "mother moments". Since I'm sure my kids will blame me for everything after they are grown, I'm taking advantage now. ;)

Anonymous said...

I agree with your sister, Koth. I have blonde moment and I ama brunette. I am/can be really flighty. (It's Tiffany, by the way!)

DeNae said...

So cute! I love the one where you kept calling the little girl "he." Would it kill the woman to stick a bow in the kid's hair??